When you are DEAD – Don’t leave the dilemma behind for the one’s who depend on you!!!!

No matter how many plans you make or how much in control you are, life is always winging it.

As people are turning all technical and handling everything in a gizmo-freak world through gadgets, it has become a trend to keep data, to-do-list, e-bills, important logins and passwords, etc documented in their laptops or mobiles which in turn are also protected through the passwords.

We never bother to know these passwords until they are really required. How many of us really want to notice the laptop password, until we share the device. Or do we try and ask the pin for their debit card in case we don’t need to withdraw on our own. In almost 9 years of marriage, I never realized these things matter. We were happy, earning well and had our our accounts to take care of. There was no need to get into each others passwords and other details. What was the need?

But when life struck hard I realized that it was just the beginning and I had lot to learn. I found myself lost and standing alone. Being educated and aware about things helped me in more ways than one but it was not enough. I needed a help. I couldn’t break through passwords, none of the documents were accessible as they were in security locks in the devices. There was no nominee for bank accounts, and the one’s existed were not ready to give me the authority.




HIS salary account, savings bank accounts had no nominee. The insurance had the parents as the nominee. But this was just the start. I didn’t know the passwords to his email account and what all to be claimed from office.This house that we bought was in joint name and under insurance (sigh of relief for me).

For everything, I needed a death certificate and there were forms running into pages. Indemnity bonds, surety to stand up, notary and no-objection certificate from your co-heirs.

I learned, even being the co-owner of the flat you don’t become the owner automatically until a series of formalities. Getting a Succession Certificate is another big battle. And when I started changing names on other bills like the gas connection, electricity, property then there is another set of paperwork. Running from pillar to pole and starting things from the scratch was what I kept doing more than a year, and still doing.

And you realize there is no time to mourn or grieve for the love of your life but busy sorting all papers.


Lesson learned this hard way is meant to be shared.

My husband and Me had the best relationship, and all the ingredients for a happy married life. The love, understanding, compatibility and everything else needed for an ideal couple. I still love HIM and no one can ever take that place in my heart.

Then why should the people whom we love the most suffer after we are no more?????

Isn’t it important sorting some papers before we go and leave them behind to mourn???

Giving them a better life, allowing them time to mourn, grieve and remember, making things easy for them, as they are already horrified and shocked.

Here are five important things which will help to make lives easy after you leave them, although the pain can’t be subsided.

1. Check all your nominations .Most of us have named our parents as nominees for bank accounts or investments before marriage. We don’t change the same even after years they are no longer with us. Kindly check the bank accounts, Fixed Deposits, NSC, bank lockers, DEMAT accounts, insurance (of car, bike, property), investments, PF pension form.


2. Passwords...  although its a techie world but what’s the harm in writing the passwords in a diary or a paper, keep it in a safe place and share with your spouse.


3. Even if the investment details are in your laptop, why not keep the hard copies in a folder or a file.


4. THE WILL………This reminds me of all those Bollywood movies where the “vasiyat” or the WILL played an important role. Make a WILL. It makes life lot easier and lot less paperwork. No need for providing indemnity bond, getting it notarized, ask for surety to stand up, no objection certificate from others…. if you have a document to state your share, “The WILL”.


5. Check for liabilities on loan so that people left behind will not have to worry for something as basic as their own house ( I was lucky in this case as the house was insured).

These documents once prepared, may be a hectic task for you now but will prove a boon for the one’s you leave behind.


I am still fighting my battle. No one knows what will happen in the future.




14 thoughts on “When you are DEAD – Don’t leave the dilemma behind for the one’s who depend on you!!!!

  1. I strongly believe it’s important to be prepared. Death is a very uncomfortable subject and most people prefer to avoid it, but I think every mom needs to sit down and have a talk with her husband. As soon as we had our first child, I made a surviving spouse to to-do list. Death is so devastating and then there are children to be protected, I just don’t think the mourning period is the time to make any major decision, any decisions…. Besides, I knew that if anything happens to me my husband would have no idea where to find kids’ immunization records and I would have no idea what is his email password. Thanks for sharing your experience and I’m very sorry for your loss.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. liferedesign101

    Shweta, this is such important advice and something we just don’t think of until too late! I am sorry you had to go through this, but you will help others to avoid the troubles you had.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. shweta

      Main aim to share this is to help others. What has happened with me can’t be changed, but others won’t if a little advice/experience can be shared.


  3. No one ever wants to think about death and dying when life is so abundant around them. However, you raise a good point, we are all on borrowed time and tomorrow is not promised. I’m so sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine having to sort through all that when the love of your life just passed. Thanks for sharing this information. I never even thought about having my husband’s passwords.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I am so sorry that you have had to go through so much. How awful to have all those details to deal with at the same time you are grieving and trying to be strong for your kids. I am pretty sure I know all my husband’s passwords and our accounts are joint, but I am going to check with him about some other things. Thanks for sharing your experience to help others!

    Liked by 1 person

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