I choose HAPPINESS!

If I had quit every time someone told me I shouldn’t or couldn’t, I wouldn’t get to do what I do and make a difference in my small corner of the world.

Will their opinions matter when I’m 70???

Brave means different things to different people at different times. Be brave today, even if all you do is breathe.

This is so true. I was in a real rut the last few years and hit rock bottom 2017. Decided to take control back. I’m still eating well, clean, healthy and started keeping myself fit. It’s amazing how much all that has changed my life and my self worth. I am worth it. We all are.

Sometimes I’ve had to restart over and over…it’s okay you just begin again………

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Honestly, the best tip is to go do something. Go for a walk and focus on deep breathing. Motivation is a daily habit. Start making new daily micro-decisions and build from there. You can do this but it takes work and you are so worth that effort.

 

Imagine this : If you had $86, 400 in your account and someone stole $10 from you, would you be upset and throw all of the remaining $86,390 away, in hopes of getting back at the person who took your $10? OR move on and live?

Move On and LIVE!

See, we all have 86,400 seconds each day. Don’t let someone’s negative 10 seconds ruin the remaining 86,390 seconds. Don’t sweat the small stuff. Life is bigger than that.

I started feeling happy and contented when I started leaving small fights for small fighters.

  • I stopped fighting those who gossiped about me…
  • I stopped fighting with my in laws…
  • I stopped fighting for attention…
  • I stopped fighting to meet public expectation of me…
  • I stopped fighting for my rights with stupid people..

I left such fights for those who have nothing else to fight…

And I started fighting for
my vision,
my dreams,
my ideas and
my destiny.

The day I gave up on small fights is the day I started becoming ME. Loved myself more.

Some fights are not worth your time.

People give up on life so often because of the troubles they have lived through. I get it, life is hard in many cases but giving up won’t make it any easier.

At the end of the day, you can decide to live a full life, or you can choose to make excuses.

Your choice. Choose what you fight for wisely!

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I miss my DAD

My younger one was 3.5 months when she lost her father. She holds no memories of her daddy and never asks questions or brings him up. She is a happy, well-adjusted, smart, and lovable four years old. She just also happens to be a kid who’s dad died way too young. Truth be told, I don’t worry about my younger one nearly as much as I do my older daughter, because she was a little older and seems to have a harder time with her loss.

This all changed recently.

As we drove to a trip to Pondicherry my little lady piped up from playing on the beach and said:

“Mommy, I miss my daddy.”

Just like that, out of the random blue, and like a sword, through my heart, she uttered those words that rendered me utterly speechless. Through quiet tears and a cracked-voiced, I just responded…

“I know buddy, and I miss him too.”

We continued to talk about HIM, and as the questions poured out of her, I could see by the expression on her little face that it was all soaking in. She continued to probe until she was done and the subject changed just as quickly as it had come up in the first place.

 

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I dropped my happy go lucky little girl from my hand, and she ran off laughing and smiling like she always does. However, I was left reeling and feeling a pain that has become all too familiar in the past four years. Through quiet reflection and lots of deep breaths, I came to a straightforward conclusion.

I can’t fix this.

There is nothing I can do to give my children their father back. There is nothing I can do to give them their innocence lost or security they may have had in their invincible parents back. Death stole these things from them, and I am incapable of fixing that reality.

My kids know loss.

My kids know death.

My kids miss their dad. Period.

End of story. End of discussion.

Or is it?

What my children also know is resiliency.

They know that life is made up of choices and that when all seems lost, we can still make the choices in this life to be and do more. They know from a tender age that bad things happen, but that buoyancy can help to carry them through very dark days. They have learned that why we may never move ON, we can move forward in a new and different path.

My children know love.

They know that people die, but even in death we still can love them beyond this world. They know that the people who remain in their present life love them deeply and care for their happiness. They know that community matters, choices matter, LIFE matters.

My children know joy.

We practice happiness in our house because we have known the worst sadness possible. We grasp at the good and practice counting the blessing that surrounds us daily.

I can’t fix what has happened in our lives.

All I can do is continue to live, answer the hard questions when they come up, and show my babies why we all deserve to live a beautiful life.

Love the LEMONS that life gives you

Why do life gives us lemons  and not oranges or apples???….or mangoes??? It would be easy to make fruit juices or smoothies. Maybe lemons are fine as well, as they are expensive these days. You can dry them out and make pickles. No, don’t worry, I am not discussing about the price and the tastes of fruits and veggies.

It’s about the hardships and the difficult times in our lives. At some point of time we all have faced challenges, difficult situations created by someone or as gift from life or misfortunes. We lose hope, fail and regret things. What can be done about such situations……..nothing much but nothing less too!!

While hardships are hard to deal with, they all have the tendency to work out in the end. Make every BAD thing as an opportunity to change, grow and learn. Nothing remains forever, not even the GOOD. You can’t be always eating desserts and chocolates in life.

Think about it…..why measure your life by Lemons??

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Instead, lift a glass and toast it looking on the brighter side. Take the lemon moment……. reminding yourself that it’s possible to make lemonade from the sour times. Offer comfort, care and love to yourself. Rebounce and say I am happy though am having difficult times. Reassurance and confidence is important…..and then lots of chocolates, stupid movie, crazy friends, night outs, party, drinks or whatever makes you chill. When everything turns out super and life starts giving you apples then ask…..…..

AHHAAN!!! what happened to the lemons?????

The old optimistic proverb is “when life gives you lemons,make lemonade”

I would say “When Life gives you lemon detox your life.” Best time to know your friends and foes, time to declutter your life, to understand who really cares and who will stay forever.

 

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So what would your saucy, funny, or pungent line be? Share and complete the phrase………………..

“when life gives you lemon…………….”

CHEERS!!!!!!!

A LETTER TO MYSELF

“If you had it all to do over,  would you fall in love with yourself again”

 

We all are happy to receive letters….. aren’t we? Though the days are gone now, taken over by technology, the posts that we used to receive are rarely seen. Times have changed, hand-written letters have transformed to emails. But that can’t stop anyone who still want to write. So why not write one to yourself when there is nobody to do so. And when in future you read it to yourself it will bring joy and happiness. We can all do that. At any age reading the same letter will always bring back some reaffirmation every time. Being nice to oneself, loving and taking care of oneself is very important. Only if we are happy and at peace with ourselves we can make our environment lovable.

 

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Believe it or not, self-investment does reap rich dividends. Loving yourself is not vanity, but it is sanity.  It is an honest letter to myself.

 

Dear Me,

 Let me first wish you all the love, luck and happiness in the years to come. 2016 had been a great year in all terms for you. I know you would not want to look back, for the resentful experience life had given you. You are secure, comfortable and pleased with the choices you have made in the last years. I know you are happy with the life you have lived, the dreams you have realized, the love you have created and the kids you have. Nothing is comparable to the affection of the kids you are getting. I am sure your conscience rests easy.

 I love how you have captured various appealing and engaging capacity over the years. From an impetuous, spontaneous, dogmatic, academic girl to a confident, self-reliant, independent woman you have come a long way. You have always been inquisitive, opinionated with multiple interests. You are a great company to be with, how easily you mingle with people.

 Sometimes you have been a bit head-strong, but I don’t think there is anything wrong if it is related to the decisions for yourself. The callibre of learning a bit about everything is the most I like about you. You have never given up on your morals, values and principles and kept them alive in your kids. You have lived life on your own terms. Do you remember how much you have laughed and then cried on things from the birth of your daughter to the love of your husband. I remember it all. The joyous moments, incredible love!!

 You are happy even today with those wrinkles, dark circles and the extra flesh on your body. You are scared of silly things even today. You give it all in raising your kids and being a decent human being.

Always remember you are Wonderful and Unique in your own ways!!!

 All good wishes for a healthy and happy life.

love you always

SHWETA

My life my choice

Somethings are really free in this world. And No, I am not talking about love, luck or destiny here. I am pointing out to that community or class of people who are never too busy or hesitant to share their piece of FREE ADVICE.

You just step out of your house and you meet your so-called well-wishers, just waiting to pounce their opinion and suggestions on any topic or issue. Yes, and they don’t even charge you for this, the nonessential consultation is just free of cost. You can catch or connect this species wherever you go. Not necessary to meet them in person, privileged on phone calls as well.

 

DON’T JUDGE MY CHOICES, WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING MY REASONS. DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT I’M DOING, WORRY ABOUT WHY YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT I’M DOING.

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You must be wondering why am I criticizing them and why is there so much dislike for them. It is just because recently I have confronted them in bulk. But there is no kind of animosity or hatred, just that, it is annoying. At times you leave the house for a cheerful evening walk or some fresh air, but come back home resentful, irritated and argumentative.

I suppose it is no one’s fault. Neither the one who is advising, because this is genuinely done by them out of gratitude, nor your, because you are bound to be genuine to listen to all that crap.

“Don’t you feed your kids? Why are they so thin?”

“Give them this and give them that…blah blah…”

“What do you earn while working from home? Is it enough for yourself and your kids?”

“oh my God !! you have two kids and they are daughters…. God had been biased for you… one son could have changed your life !! “

These are all face-to-face conversations I have had in the past. They are harsh, annoying and relentless. Every decision is insanely analyzed. The offensive aunties or your same age women never miss an opportunity to bring you down. May be this is the only way to make them feel good about themselves. Perhaps they are idle, with really low self-esteem.

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Whatever be it, I have started fighting back. No one will say something rude or intrusive about me and my kids and expect to get away. I will give it back, sometimes sarcastically, at other times in an amusing retorts. And the underlying message would always be, “Mind Your Own Business”.

“My life,My Choice”. If you have a problem with that then keep it to yourself. Unless of course, you are planning to raise my kids, pay my bills, run my home, I have no interest in hearing what you think about my life choices.

It is a fact accepted by me that some people will remain morons, and I should stop being effected by them.

If your strength is small, don’t carry heavy burdens. If your words are worthless, don’t give advice.


 Bottom line: If my actions don’t concern you…..don’t concern yourself with my actions.

5 Diet Secrets to Healthy – Looking Skin

True beauty comes from within, so the key to a healthy glow may not come from your cosmetics. Your skin is the largest organ of your body. If you nourish your body from the inside out, you will make a difference in the way your skin looks – and ages.

5 Diet Secrets to Healthy – Looking Skin

  • Swap Your Carbhealthy skin diet foods: Replace refined carbohydrate foods like white bread, cookies, and pasta with their whole-grain cousins. Not only do whole grains provide a lot more anti-aging antioxidants, they also provide the key element of a healthy skin diet – fiber.
    A high-fiber diet with lots of whole grains can help eliminate toxins and act as a detoxifying agent for your body. Experts recommend eating 35 grams of fiber every day.

 

  • Trade In Your Fat
    healthy skin diet foodsToss out the bad fats in your diet – saturated and trans fat – and replace them with good fats. Omega 3 fatty acids from fish sources can reduce skin cancer risk. Experts suggested eating 200 mg of DHA a day – that’s equivalent to two servings of salmon a week. While most of us get plenty of omega 6 fatty acids from our diet, the importance of another good fat – linoleic acid – in preventing dry, flaky skin. Linoleic acid can be found in vegetable oils like safflower oil, sunflower oil and olive oil.

 

  • Citri-cize Your Diethealthy skin diet foods: Citrus fruits play an important role in keeping your skin looking young. That’s because the antioxidant Vitamin C found in citrus is involved in the formation of collagen – a protein that binds cells and tissues together. In other words, collagen helps keep your skin firm and hence reduces wrinkling. Therefore, include more Vitamin C-rich foods such as oranges, grapefruit, kiwis, strawberries, red bell peppers, and broccoli in your diet. Don’t just eat citrus as after-meal fruits – you can always include them in your dishes!

 

  • Keep the Strings and Peelshealthy skin diet foods: There are more health reasons to add fruits and vegetables to your diet. Silica found in plant-based foods can help maintain the elasticity of your skin and improve your complexion. What you probably don’t know is that silica is often found in parts that are often discarded – strings and peels. So if possible, enjoy the whole fruit and vegetable, like cucumber skin and the strings of celery and asparagus.

 

  • healthy skin diet foodsStay hydrated:
    Fluids keep your skin hydrated and help flush toxins. Drink at least 6 cups of fluids – water and tea – every day. Experts recommend drinking black, green, and white teas for their beneficial flavonoid content. Skip the cream and sugar to make them calorie-free =)

 

Stay healthy keep glowing. Cheers!!

When you are DEAD – Don’t leave the dilemma behind for the one’s who depend on you!!!!

No matter how many plans you make or how much in control you are, life is always winging it.

As people are turning all technical and handling everything in a gizmo-freak world through gadgets, it has become a trend to keep data, to-do-list, e-bills, important logins and passwords, etc documented in their laptops or mobiles which in turn are also protected through the passwords.

We never bother to know these passwords until they are really required. How many of us really want to notice the laptop password, until we share the device. Or do we try and ask the pin for their debit card in case we don’t need to withdraw on our own. In almost 9 years of marriage, I never realized these things matter. We were happy, earning well and had our our accounts to take care of. There was no need to get into each others passwords and other details. What was the need?

But when life struck hard I realized that it was just the beginning and I had lot to learn. I found myself lost and standing alone. Being educated and aware about things helped me in more ways than one but it was not enough. I needed a help. I couldn’t break through passwords, none of the documents were accessible as they were in security locks in the devices. There was no nominee for bank accounts, and the one’s existed were not ready to give me the authority.

 

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HIS salary account, savings bank accounts had no nominee. The insurance had the parents as the nominee. But this was just the start. I didn’t know the passwords to his email account and what all to be claimed from office.This house that we bought was in joint name and under insurance (sigh of relief for me).

For everything, I needed a death certificate and there were forms running into pages. Indemnity bonds, surety to stand up, notary and no-objection certificate from your co-heirs.

I learned, even being the co-owner of the flat you don’t become the owner automatically until a series of formalities. Getting a Succession Certificate is another big battle. And when I started changing names on other bills like the gas connection, electricity, property then there is another set of paperwork. Running from pillar to pole and starting things from the scratch was what I kept doing more than a year, and still doing.

And you realize there is no time to mourn or grieve for the love of your life but busy sorting all papers.

 

Lesson learned this hard way is meant to be shared.

My husband and Me had the best relationship, and all the ingredients for a happy married life. The love, understanding, compatibility and everything else needed for an ideal couple. I still love HIM and no one can ever take that place in my heart.

Then why should the people whom we love the most suffer after we are no more?????

Isn’t it important sorting some papers before we go and leave them behind to mourn???

Giving them a better life, allowing them time to mourn, grieve and remember, making things easy for them, as they are already horrified and shocked.

Here are five important things which will help to make lives easy after you leave them, although the pain can’t be subsided.

1. Check all your nominations .Most of us have named our parents as nominees for bank accounts or investments before marriage. We don’t change the same even after years they are no longer with us. Kindly check the bank accounts, Fixed Deposits, NSC, bank lockers, DEMAT accounts, insurance (of car, bike, property), investments, PF pension form.

 

2. Passwords...  although its a techie world but what’s the harm in writing the passwords in a diary or a paper, keep it in a safe place and share with your spouse.

 

3. Even if the investment details are in your laptop, why not keep the hard copies in a folder or a file.

 

4. THE WILL………This reminds me of all those Bollywood movies where the “vasiyat” or the WILL played an important role. Make a WILL. It makes life lot easier and lot less paperwork. No need for providing indemnity bond, getting it notarized, ask for surety to stand up, no objection certificate from others…. if you have a document to state your share, “The WILL”.

 

5. Check for liabilities on loan so that people left behind will not have to worry for something as basic as their own house ( I was lucky in this case as the house was insured).

These documents once prepared, may be a hectic task for you now but will prove a boon for the one’s you leave behind.

 

I am still fighting my battle. No one knows what will happen in the future.

JUST BE PREPARED!!!!