Love the LEMONS that life gives you

Why do life gives us lemons  and not oranges or apples???….or mangoes??? It would be easy to make fruit juices or smoothies. Maybe lemons are fine as well, as they are expensive these days. You can dry them out and make pickles. No, don’t worry, I am not discussing about the price and the tastes of fruits and veggies.

It’s about the hardships and the difficult times in our lives. At some point of time we all have faced challenges, difficult situations created by someone or as gift from life or misfortunes. We lose hope, fail and regret things. What can be done about such situations……..nothing much but nothing less too!!

While hardships are hard to deal with, they all have the tendency to work out in the end. Make every BAD thing as an opportunity to change, grow and learn. Nothing remains forever, not even the GOOD. You can’t be always eating desserts and chocolates in life.

Think about it…..why measure your life by Lemons??

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Instead, lift a glass and toast it looking on the brighter side. Take the lemon moment……. reminding yourself that it’s possible to make lemonade from the sour times. Offer comfort, care and love to yourself. Rebounce and say I am happy though am having difficult times. Reassurance and confidence is important…..and then lots of chocolates, stupid movie, crazy friends, night outs, party, drinks or whatever makes you chill. When everything turns out super and life starts giving you apples then ask…..…..

AHHAAN!!! what happened to the lemons?????

The old optimistic proverb is “when life gives you lemons,make lemonade”

I would say “When Life gives you lemon detox your life.” Best time to know your friends and foes, time to declutter your life, to understand who really cares and who will stay forever.

 

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So what would your saucy, funny, or pungent line be? Share and complete the phrase………………..

“when life gives you lemon…………….”

CHEERS!!!!!!!

A LETTER TO MYSELF

“If you had it all to do over,  would you fall in love with yourself again”

 

We all are happy to receive letters….. aren’t we? Though the days are gone now, taken over by technology, the posts that we used to receive are rarely seen. Times have changed, hand-written letters have transformed to emails. But that can’t stop anyone who still want to write. So why not write one to yourself when there is nobody to do so. And when in future you read it to yourself it will bring joy and happiness. We can all do that. At any age reading the same letter will always bring back some reaffirmation every time. Being nice to oneself, loving and taking care of oneself is very important. Only if we are happy and at peace with ourselves we can make our environment lovable.

 

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Believe it or not, self-investment does reap rich dividends. Loving yourself is not vanity, but it is sanity.  It is an honest letter to myself.

 

Dear Me,

 Let me first wish you all the love, luck and happiness in the years to come. 2016 had been a great year in all terms for you. I know you would not want to look back, for the resentful experience life had given you. You are secure, comfortable and pleased with the choices you have made in the last years. I know you are happy with the life you have lived, the dreams you have realized, the love you have created and the kids you have. Nothing is comparable to the affection of the kids you are getting. I am sure your conscience rests easy.

 I love how you have captured various appealing and engaging capacity over the years. From an impetuous, spontaneous, dogmatic, academic girl to a confident, self-reliant, independent woman you have come a long way. You have always been inquisitive, opinionated with multiple interests. You are a great company to be with, how easily you mingle with people.

 Sometimes you have been a bit head-strong, but I don’t think there is anything wrong if it is related to the decisions for yourself. The callibre of learning a bit about everything is the most I like about you. You have never given up on your morals, values and principles and kept them alive in your kids. You have lived life on your own terms. Do you remember how much you have laughed and then cried on things from the birth of your daughter to the love of your husband. I remember it all. The joyous moments, incredible love!!

 You are happy even today with those wrinkles, dark circles and the extra flesh on your body. You are scared of silly things even today. You give it all in raising your kids and being a decent human being.

Always remember you are Wonderful and Unique in your own ways!!!

 All good wishes for a healthy and happy life.

love you always

SHWETA

My life my choice

Somethings are really free in this world. And No, I am not talking about love, luck or destiny here. I am pointing out to that community or class of people who are never too busy or hesitant to share their piece of FREE ADVICE.

You just step out of your house and you meet your so-called well-wishers, just waiting to pounce their opinion and suggestions on any topic or issue. Yes, and they don’t even charge you for this, the nonessential consultation is just free of cost. You can catch or connect this species wherever you go. Not necessary to meet them in person, privileged on phone calls as well.

 

DON’T JUDGE MY CHOICES, WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING MY REASONS. DON’T WORRY ABOUT WHAT I’M DOING, WORRY ABOUT WHY YOU’RE WORRIED ABOUT WHAT I’M DOING.

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You must be wondering why am I criticizing them and why is there so much dislike for them. It is just because recently I have confronted them in bulk. But there is no kind of animosity or hatred, just that, it is annoying. At times you leave the house for a cheerful evening walk or some fresh air, but come back home resentful, irritated and argumentative.

I suppose it is no one’s fault. Neither the one who is advising, because this is genuinely done by them out of gratitude, nor your, because you are bound to be genuine to listen to all that crap.

“Don’t you feed your kids? Why are they so thin?”

“Give them this and give them that…blah blah…”

“What do you earn while working from home? Is it enough for yourself and your kids?”

“oh my God !! you have two kids and they are daughters…. God had been biased for you… one son could have changed your life !! “

These are all face-to-face conversations I have had in the past. They are harsh, annoying and relentless. Every decision is insanely analyzed. The offensive aunties or your same age women never miss an opportunity to bring you down. May be this is the only way to make them feel good about themselves. Perhaps they are idle, with really low self-esteem.

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Whatever be it, I have started fighting back. No one will say something rude or intrusive about me and my kids and expect to get away. I will give it back, sometimes sarcastically, at other times in an amusing retorts. And the underlying message would always be, “Mind Your Own Business”.

“My life,My Choice”. If you have a problem with that then keep it to yourself. Unless of course, you are planning to raise my kids, pay my bills, run my home, I have no interest in hearing what you think about my life choices.

It is a fact accepted by me that some people will remain morons, and I should stop being effected by them.

If your strength is small, don’t carry heavy burdens. If your words are worthless, don’t give advice.


 Bottom line: If my actions don’t concern you…..don’t concern yourself with my actions.

5 Diet Secrets to Healthy – Looking Skin

True beauty comes from within, so the key to a healthy glow may not come from your cosmetics. Your skin is the largest organ of your body. If you nourish your body from the inside out, you will make a difference in the way your skin looks – and ages.

5 Diet Secrets to Healthy – Looking Skin

  • Swap Your Carbhealthy skin diet foods: Replace refined carbohydrate foods like white bread, cookies, and pasta with their whole-grain cousins. Not only do whole grains provide a lot more anti-aging antioxidants, they also provide the key element of a healthy skin diet – fiber.
    A high-fiber diet with lots of whole grains can help eliminate toxins and act as a detoxifying agent for your body. Experts recommend eating 35 grams of fiber every day.

 

  • Trade In Your Fat
    healthy skin diet foodsToss out the bad fats in your diet – saturated and trans fat – and replace them with good fats. Omega 3 fatty acids from fish sources can reduce skin cancer risk. Experts suggested eating 200 mg of DHA a day – that’s equivalent to two servings of salmon a week. While most of us get plenty of omega 6 fatty acids from our diet, the importance of another good fat – linoleic acid – in preventing dry, flaky skin. Linoleic acid can be found in vegetable oils like safflower oil, sunflower oil and olive oil.

 

  • Citri-cize Your Diethealthy skin diet foods: Citrus fruits play an important role in keeping your skin looking young. That’s because the antioxidant Vitamin C found in citrus is involved in the formation of collagen – a protein that binds cells and tissues together. In other words, collagen helps keep your skin firm and hence reduces wrinkling. Therefore, include more Vitamin C-rich foods such as oranges, grapefruit, kiwis, strawberries, red bell peppers, and broccoli in your diet. Don’t just eat citrus as after-meal fruits – you can always include them in your dishes!

 

  • Keep the Strings and Peelshealthy skin diet foods: There are more health reasons to add fruits and vegetables to your diet. Silica found in plant-based foods can help maintain the elasticity of your skin and improve your complexion. What you probably don’t know is that silica is often found in parts that are often discarded – strings and peels. So if possible, enjoy the whole fruit and vegetable, like cucumber skin and the strings of celery and asparagus.

 

  • healthy skin diet foodsStay hydrated:
    Fluids keep your skin hydrated and help flush toxins. Drink at least 6 cups of fluids – water and tea – every day. Experts recommend drinking black, green, and white teas for their beneficial flavonoid content. Skip the cream and sugar to make them calorie-free =)

 

Stay healthy keep glowing. Cheers!!

When you are DEAD – Don’t leave the dilemma behind for the one’s who depend on you!!!!

No matter how many plans you make or how much in control you are, life is always winging it.

As people are turning all technical and handling everything in a gizmo-freak world through gadgets, it has become a trend to keep data, to-do-list, e-bills, important logins and passwords, etc documented in their laptops or mobiles which in turn are also protected through the passwords.

We never bother to know these passwords until they are really required. How many of us really want to notice the laptop password, until we share the device. Or do we try and ask the pin for their debit card in case we don’t need to withdraw on our own. In almost 9 years of marriage, I never realized these things matter. We were happy, earning well and had our our accounts to take care of. There was no need to get into each others passwords and other details. What was the need?

But when life struck hard I realized that it was just the beginning and I had lot to learn. I found myself lost and standing alone. Being educated and aware about things helped me in more ways than one but it was not enough. I needed a help. I couldn’t break through passwords, none of the documents were accessible as they were in security locks in the devices. There was no nominee for bank accounts, and the one’s existed were not ready to give me the authority.

 

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HIS salary account, savings bank accounts had no nominee. The insurance had the parents as the nominee. But this was just the start. I didn’t know the passwords to his email account and what all to be claimed from office.This house that we bought was in joint name and under insurance (sigh of relief for me).

For everything, I needed a death certificate and there were forms running into pages. Indemnity bonds, surety to stand up, notary and no-objection certificate from your co-heirs.

I learned, even being the co-owner of the flat you don’t become the owner automatically until a series of formalities. Getting a Succession Certificate is another big battle. And when I started changing names on other bills like the gas connection, electricity, property then there is another set of paperwork. Running from pillar to pole and starting things from the scratch was what I kept doing more than a year, and still doing.

And you realize there is no time to mourn or grieve for the love of your life but busy sorting all papers.

 

Lesson learned this hard way is meant to be shared.

My husband and Me had the best relationship, and all the ingredients for a happy married life. The love, understanding, compatibility and everything else needed for an ideal couple. I still love HIM and no one can ever take that place in my heart.

Then why should the people whom we love the most suffer after we are no more?????

Isn’t it important sorting some papers before we go and leave them behind to mourn???

Giving them a better life, allowing them time to mourn, grieve and remember, making things easy for them, as they are already horrified and shocked.

Here are five important things which will help to make lives easy after you leave them, although the pain can’t be subsided.

1. Check all your nominations .Most of us have named our parents as nominees for bank accounts or investments before marriage. We don’t change the same even after years they are no longer with us. Kindly check the bank accounts, Fixed Deposits, NSC, bank lockers, DEMAT accounts, insurance (of car, bike, property), investments, PF pension form.

 

2. Passwords...  although its a techie world but what’s the harm in writing the passwords in a diary or a paper, keep it in a safe place and share with your spouse.

 

3. Even if the investment details are in your laptop, why not keep the hard copies in a folder or a file.

 

4. THE WILL………This reminds me of all those Bollywood movies where the “vasiyat” or the WILL played an important role. Make a WILL. It makes life lot easier and lot less paperwork. No need for providing indemnity bond, getting it notarized, ask for surety to stand up, no objection certificate from others…. if you have a document to state your share, “The WILL”.

 

5. Check for liabilities on loan so that people left behind will not have to worry for something as basic as their own house ( I was lucky in this case as the house was insured).

These documents once prepared, may be a hectic task for you now but will prove a boon for the one’s you leave behind.

 

I am still fighting my battle. No one knows what will happen in the future.

JUST BE PREPARED!!!!


 

Lighting up lives

Diwali has always been related with the three F’s – FAMILY, FUN and FOOD. It is also known as festival of lights. Diwali was never so much fun for us. This time kids and me decided to have an eco-friendly Diwali, bursting no crackers and doing eco-friendly craft and Diwali decorations. We drafted a rough list before the festival as to how and what we can add-on to have more amusement.

 

We decided to celebrate the festival at my hometown in Madhya Pradesh. My motive of taking kids there was basically, show them how, originally the festival was celebrated and the real importance of the traditions and beliefs that are still followed. Growing up and living in a metro, they do get to know a lot about other cultures and their festivals, languages and costumes, but I wish them to carry forward the customs and traditions we have received from our parents and grandparents. Nuclear family culture and modernization is a big reason why kids are losing grounds about the origins. My kids have been celebrating Diwali for 2-3 days, but I wanted them to know that the festival is actually a week’s celebration and the significance of each day starting from Vasu Baras and followed by Dhanteras, Choti Diwali, Lakshmi Pujan, Govardhan and lastly Bhaiduj.

I tried to involve kids in each activity from preparations to celebrations. Cleaning the mandir (temple) area, painting the floor with Geru powder (red mud/ochre ), drawing rangolis, making the Toran (festoon/gateway) with leaves and flowers, also painting diyas (lamps) and decorating the pooja thali. It was immense pleasure and a great bonding among kids and their cousins. It was all a team work.

 

The best part being, gifting and greeting the people who are our help like watchman and maids and donating clothes and food and useful articles to those less fortunate as we headed to an orphanage in the morning on the festival day.

 

Although kids got the chance to play with fireworks, they did not. Fireworks are a celebratory gesture. There are various ways in which we celebrate any occasion. We decided in celebrating without fireworks, but the kids realised that fireworks are an ‘option’, not something that ‘has to’ be done.

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Four important things that made our Diwali wonderful were:

 

  1. Spending time with our family and bonding together. Taking snaps and group photos.
  2. Visiting old friends and surprising them.
  3. Lighting up the house and brighten the night. Indulging in delicacies and relishing the authentic food.
  4. Buying some sweets, greeting and giving them to people we barely acknowledge. Buying random things like crayon boxes, cheap toys and tiny clips and giving them away to the poor children.

 

That’s what the festival of lights is all about. Lighting up others lives.

 

Diwali or Deepavali is one of the biggest festival celebrated throughout India and also in many parts of the world. As we all saw President Obama declared a holiday in the US now. That was such a proud moment.

In his address to the White House, this is what President Obama had to say:

It is fitting that we begin this week leading up to the holiday of Diwali – the festival of lights, where members of some of the world’s greatest faiths celebrate the victory of good over evil, knowledge over ignorance.

It is a time for rejoicing, but also a time for reflection. To reach out to those in need. In that spirit of celebration and contemplation, I am happy to light the White House diya, and wish you all a happy Diwali and a Saal Mubarak”.

 

So rightly said !!

Happy Diwali and a prosperous New Year to all !!

10 Ways to Enjoy A book or Two

“ The more you read, the more things you will know,

the more you learn, the more places you’ll go ”.

-Dr.Seuss

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Reading may be hard for some people but it can be developed into a habit. It is never too late to start reading and widen your daily horizons. Every parent should inculcate the habit of reading in their kids. Whatever age a child is, he/she can start with books at a very early age. Studies say a kid can start observing books at 6 months and also listen to stories. Remember that good book makes good read. Books are one’s real friend, they help you to cultivate a feeling of satisfaction. If reading is not you have done till now, it is never late to start. Reading can be developed into a habit easily.

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  1. Anything that you would like to read can be a starting. You can begin with a newspaper, magazine or a story book. To start developing interest in reading you can take up a comic book or short stories. Reading can be anything and everything. Sit with your children and read.
  2. 15 minutes a day. Yes, just 10-15 minutes a day and its enough for the beginners. Make a point to read at a particular time of the day, like, in the afternoon or after a nap, before sleeping or time that suits you. Stick to that routine of reading at your chosen time. That will also give you some family time when reading with kids.
  3. You can carry a book always with you, so if there is a waiting time, or a queue, or in a bus, anywhere you can just open the book and indulge in your world.
  4. Join a library. This will help you find more books and understand the type of books you may be interested in reading. Joining a library will also make new friends with the same interest and people you can discuss about reading.
  5. Try to read carefully each word and understand what you are reading. Always make sure to mark or underline difficult words while reading with kids and look for their meanings later. Consult a dictionary, you can also make kids learn two new words a week.
  6. Make a list of books you read and to be read.
  7. Make your reading time pleasurable. Do not read for the heck of it or under pressure of reading. It is not a compulsion but a choice.
  8. Gradually increase your reading time from 15 minutes to half an hour or one hour. Find more time and different things to read. Keep books handy and easily available like near your bedside or in the drawing room. So you can grab a book whenever you wish to read.
  9. Last but most important, reading will help you to broaden your worldview, make you aware of different authors, will enhance your knowledge and make you smarter. Always be positive before reading and tell yourself  “ I am going to enjoy this”.
  10. Children copy their parents much faster than anyone else. Give them the pleasure of reading.

Cheers!!!